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CGI-Sore

I just finished watching the trailer for The Polar Express, the new Robert Zemeckis/Tom Hanks movie.

Um, so it’s animated?

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again—if you’re going to use CGI to create photorealistic animation, what’s the point?  If you want it to look completely realistic, then use a camera!

What’s worse is that Tom Hanks’s character is just a CGI Tom Hanks.  Sure, it looks good, I guess.  For a minute there I thought it actually was Tom Hanks behind a soft focus lense, until, of course, he opened his mouth and gave way to the telltale sign of a CGI human: stiff, unrealistic lipsynch. 

It’s like watching a Tom Hanks puppet. 

I’m sure proponents of the film will try to explain that it’s more than just animation—that it’s probably the result of a rigorous combination of motion capture and acting like Gollum’s character in the Lord of the Rings movies, but like I said—if you can actually film Tom Hanks, what’s the point?

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Mullets!

Check out Mullets, a new comic strip by Steve McGarry and my pal Rick Stromoski.  A while ago Rick asked if he could use my font Turkey Sandwich for a new strip he was developing for Universal Press, but I had no idea to what extent.  The strip looks great, so be sure to tell your local paper that you want Mullets!

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You Got Atwood in My Richler!  You Got Richler in My Atwood!

This is how my brain works.  Take a look at this book cover.  I came across this book in a bookstore last night and I stared at it for a moment looking at the photo(s).  My first thought?  “Wow, not a very flattering photo of Margaret Atwood!” Then I did a double take and said to myself, “You idiot, that’s not Margaret Atwood—it’s Mordecai Richler!”

Then after all my confusion, as if I wasn’t stupid enough, I decided to check the name on the book.  The author?  Brian Busby.  So of course my brain, in its infinite wisdom, convinces me, “Oh, it’s not Margaret Atwood *or* Mordecai Richler… it’s Brian Busby!”

I swear to God I need to get a new brain.

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Right.  What’s a Cubit?

I’ve been trying to get a producer at work to get me some graphics specs so I can properly deliver some design elements to him.

After countless failed attempts he finally tells me, “You know, whatever, as long as it’s really big.  You know, like, thirty six… thousand… zigga… ziggalas.”

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Meanwhile, in the forest, in a parliament of trees…

After years of having really shitty official sites, the Rheostatics, Canada’s most, well, Canadian band finally has a decent website on its way.

The site is live now in timing with the Rheos’ record-breaking 13-night Fall Nationals stint at the Legendary Horseshoe Tavern (breaking their own records of 12 and 11, and Stomping Tom’s 10).  The Nationals started last night and continue to the 22nd of November.

The band’s album Whale Music was recently named the Greatest Canadian Album of All Time by CBC Radio.

Also on the way is a live concert DVD entitled Maple Serum: Rheostatics Live at the Horseshoe.  This news excites me for two reasons.  The first reason is that this will be the second Rheostatics release to be linked to one of my fonts, namely, Maple Serum, which I named in honour of the Boys from Etobicoke.  (The other font-connection is that the band used Girls are Weird for the CD and t-shirts of Harmelodia.)

The other reason this DVD news excites me is that I was at this concert they filmed 3 years ago at the band’s first annual Fall Nationals (I attended all 11 shows).  I was in the very front row and a camera man was tripping over me all night....  I’m sure there will be many shots of me awkwardly rocking out and bobbing my head in all my geekdom, forever a part of Canadian rock history.

Fingers crossed.

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In With The Old

While Toronto welcomes in its new mayor and The Armchair Garbageman tidies his desk for his new boss, I have suddenly developed a new system of judging mayoral candidates that I must try and remember for the next municipal election—the cuteness factor.

There is much talk about Miller’s victory over Tory here in the big city (I did my part and voted for Super-Mayor), but let’s not forget our neighbours in Mississauga who once again re-elected warhorse Hazel McCallion.  At 82 years old, she’s been running Mississauga debt-free since 1978.  And is it any wonder?  Look at her—she’s adorable!  She’s like a little municipal leprechaun!  I just wanna reach out and squeeze her cheeks!  (Yes, yes, your dirty jokes are welcome and anticipated)

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Charles Schulz, Grandfather

The Comics Journal has reposted the audio of Gary Groth’s interviews with Charles Schulz.  This comes at the perfect time for me, as I finally got around to reading Charles M. Schulz: Conversations, a collection of interviews with the Peanuts creator spanning his 50-year career.

The interview with Groth is included in the book, and it’s by far the most in-depth and original interview we’re given.  The interviews were all conducted independantly over 50 years, and yet they all seem to cover the same information and not reveal anything new—Sparky hated the title Peanuts, he once taught Sunday School to adults, he considers what he does to be a low form of art.  It began to feel like I was reading the same interview over and over again.

One of the surprises in Groth’s interview is finding out that, vulgarity aside, Schulz actually likes the work of Robert Crumb.  When Groth, however, asks Schulz if he ever thought of using his strip to combat sexual frustration in the same direct way as Crumb, Schulz reminds him, “these are just little kids.”

Reading the interviews really makes you feel like you know Charles Schulz.  It’s perhaps how grandfatherly he sounds (even in his earlier interviews when he was in his 30s!).  For someone whose life work has been studied and philosophised (and in the process made him a multimillionaire) he is undoubtedly a simple man.  In a darkly-titled interview with Sharon Waxman called Charlie Blue: The Fragile Child Lurking Inside the Cartoonist, he opines on the bronze statue of Abraham Lincoln that adorns his office: “I bet he was fun to be with.” Of all that could be said or written about the Great Emancipator, that’s what Charles Schulz has to say on the matter.

I went for drinks with a bunch of cartoonists once and several of them shared stories of the first time they met Charles Schulz.  Meeting Sparky always seemed like the goal of any aspiring cartoonist—once you’ve shaken the hand that draws Snoopy you’ve made it.  I, of course, never got to meet the man, but I still feel like I know him.  After all, he’s shared all his insecurities, secrets, fears, and joys with us for 50 years via his little round-headed alter egos.  (He says it’s Snoopy that doesn’t like coconut, but it’s really him, isn’t it?)

Listen to the interviews and you’ll listen to the slow, soft-spoken voice of someone who, though maybe not one of the world’s great thinkers or even someone comfortable in their celebrity skin, is undoubtedly one of kindest people who ever lived—A kindness you wish you were able to wrap yourself up in like Linus’s blanket.  He really is like a grandfather I never met—the kind who would sneak you a quarter when your parents weren’t looking, or listen to all your stories with unparalleled attention, and read comic books with you on a Saturday afternoon.  I bet he was fun to be with.

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Syndication Rites

For those of you who do your news- and blog-reading via an RSS reader, I’ve finally gotten around to providing an XML feed for you.  (Actually, I’ve been providing it the whole time, but it’s only now that I managed to put up one of those trendy little buttons on the side there.) Go nuts.

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Boffo Lingo

Ain’t it about time you rubes brushed up on your Vaudeville slang?  This schtick’ll really click next time you wanna knock the stubholders bowlegged!  A guaranteed yock.

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Mechanical Automatons!

Check it out—robots of the 19th Century!. (via MetaFilter)

The mechanical man named Boilerplate, in particular, reminds me of Chris Ware’s robot drawings, such as the little fella from his Rocket Sam series.

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Rainy Day Papercraft Fun

Have some extra free time? Why not try your hand at some papercraft?

(Some of these sites are in Japanese, but you should be able figure them out easily enough.  Just look for the PDF links!)

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Type Design 101

There are plenty of resources on the basics of type design online.  One I just found is particularly charming in its use of hand-drawn diagrams (after all, shouldn’t all type design start with a pencil?) Check out typeworkshop.com for their Type Basics.

The site seems to be brought to us by the folks at UnderWare, who give workshops on type design.  I’ve always loved that they share their rough designs and makings of for their typefaces.

(via Snog Blog)

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More on OCAD

The New York Times has an article on the OCAD’s new addition by architect Will Alsop (previoulsy mentioned here).

Particularly worthy of note is this quote: “Will is an architect who, in theory, I should really hate his work,” said Rowan Moore, the architecture critic of The Evening Standard.

What a coincidence!  Will is an architect I really hate in practice.

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Leave the Limbs You’ve Lost!  They Belong to Me Now.

This year I had what I think was my best Halloween costume to date.  And apart from at least 3 people asking me, “Are you supposed to be Garth from Wayne’s World?” I think it was a big success!

And, of course, my companion, Go Go Yubari:

The Halloween festivities continued then with Alien: The Director’s Cut, a screening of The Exorcist and then finally, we all went to see the final late night performance of Evil Dead 1 & 2: The Musical, which exceeded all my expectations.

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Childhood Frights!

It’s Halloween, and in honour of this holiday of horrors I thought I’d take a moment to reflect on the movie and tv moments of my childhood that scared the living crap out of me.

10. The Wicked Witch of the West
My earliest memory of ever being afraid of something on TV or in a movie is definitely The Wizard of Oz.  I was obviously very young and I don’t know if it was the witch herself, or the flying monkeys, but I just distinctly remember getting very nervous and frightened when watching the scene at the witch’s castle as the guards marched by.  “Yo-ee-oh! Yo-oh!”

9. Thriller
I wasn’t so much afraid of the Thriller video when it came out so much as I was fascinated and curious because it was one of those things that my parents told me not to watch (but did anyway).  My dad pretty much forbid us kids to watch ANY music videos.  Best Thriller memory: the zombie that blows a big blood bubble!

8. The Cave on Dagobah
A kid watching The Empire Strikes Back for the first time doesn’t really expect the sequel to something as delightful as Star Wars to be as dark as it is.  Never mind Han Solo’s carbonite freezing or even Luke getting his hand sliced off—the real scary moment of this movie is Luke confronting his inner demons in the cave on Dagobah. It’s dark… it’s creepy… it’s in sorta-slow-motion… when all of a sudden he draws his light sabre!  He knows something I don’t know!  What’s this?  Holy crap it’s Darth Vader and he followed Luke here!!  OH MY GOD!  Luke just cut off Vader’s head!  But wait, it’s not Vader, it’s....  LUKE!  As a kid I was never quite sure if this was a nightmare, or a ghost, or some kind of Jedi mind trick.  Them Jedi can be sneaky like that, y’know.

7. Evil Superman
There are several scenes from Superman III that scared me as a kid, one is at the end of the movie when Robert Vaughn’s henchwoman Vera gets pulled into the supercomputer and somehow turns into a robot!  But for a kid what’s really frightening is when the hero goes bad.  Like Willy Wonka going mad on the chocolate river, I didn’t quite know how to cope with Kal-El going Koo-koo.  It was very unsettling for me to see the Last Son of Krypton getting drunk in a bar, harrasssing children, and making sexual advances towards Annette O’Toole!  (and then somehow pounding the crap out of Good Clark)

6. Willy Wonka’s Boat Ride
I think every kid watches this scene with a horrified look on their faces.  I think it’s scary not because of the violent imagery of bugs and chicken decapitations, or even the manic crescendo of noise and music—this scene is scary because it actually makes kids think that something’s not quite right in Willy Wonka’s head.  Is he evil?  Insane?  He’s going to kill the kids, isn’t he?  This scene is matched for intensity with the final scene in which Willy Wonka yells at Charlie.  “You disobeyed my orders!!!  You STOLE fizzy lifting drink and DIRTIED my ceiling you DIRTY THIEVING BASTARD!”

5. The Government Steals E.T.
There is only one scene in E.T. that scared me as a kid, and it’s after E.T. is found half-dead in a ravine being eaten by raccoons.  Mom’s just found out about the alien the kids have been keeping, Elliot’s gone loco, and Drew Barrymore is at her snot-nosed crying best.  Tensions in the house are high and suddenly the home is TAKEN OVER!  BY ASTRONAUTS!  And not just any astronauts --- astronauts who walk slow and methodic with their arms outstretched like zombies.  Astronauts who don’t even bother to open windows and doors properly and just walk right through the blinds and curtains as the family screams in terror (an explanation would be nice, thank-you!) and somehow the family’s model train set feels it’s an opportune time to set itself off.

4. Pulsating Tree Root Monster
Space Quest 2 was my favourite computer game growing up and it was filled with some very tense moments for a cheap blocky comedy game.  There was the lovesick Alien queen that would escape from its cell in a fastpaced frenzy ripped off from Alien.  There was also the underwater swamp alien ripped off from The Empire Strikes Back.  Oh, and let’s not forget the gorilla-like security guards ripped off from Planet of the Apes.  But the moment that had me on the edge of my seat was the mazelike pulsating tree root monster that, as Roger Wilco, I had to navigate through without touching… it was very stressful, let me tell you!

3. Princess Mombi from Return to Oz
This “sequel” to The Wizard of Oz starring a young Fairuza Balk as Dorothy was filled with some very frightening scenes such as the crazed Wheelies, the mad Nome King, oh, and let’s see… the mental hospital with screaming children in the basement where Dorothy is taken to get electric shock therapy in order to cure her of her delusions of Oz.  Right.  But the ultimate scary moment in the movie is when Dorothy needs to sneak through a hall of sleeping disembodied heads belonging to Princess Mombi who, of course, wakes up and starts the dozens of heads a-screaming.  And it’s a Disney movie if you can believe it.

2. The Doctor Who Theme Song
Every kid I grew up with feels the same way about the theme song to Doctor Who.  And this is why: we all grew up watching Polka-Dot Door and Today’s Special on TVO.  But for some reason, a programming genius at TVO decided that the show that should be aired immediately following this block of preschool programming is the show with the themesong that made all the kids wet their pants in fear.

1. Jan Svankmajer’s Alice
Flipping through the TV at night on several occasions as a child I managed to come across Jan Svankmajer’s version of Alice in Wonderland.  Part live action, part stop-motion animation, it was hypnotic.  But it scared the hell out of me.  If you haven’t seen it, imagine Alice in Wonderland if it was made by Tim Burton.  But Tim Burton was Czechoslovakian.  And a zombie.  All the characters apart from Alice are animated puppets made from skeletons and dead animals and of course they all have that jerky motion inherent in stop motion.  This was definitely not Disney’s version of Alice, and it has stayed with me to this day (I would kill for a copy on video).  I’m pretty sure I can blame TVO for this as well.

UPDATE:
Okay, I just remembered ANOTHER scary moment from my childhood.  Do you remember that Bert and Ernie sketch from Sesame Street in which we find them exploring an Egyptian tomb and when Bert disappears Ernie is taunted by a statue that looks just like him?  Bert, not believing Ernie, just tells Ernie to sing a song if he’s scared and eventually Ernie and the statue break into a duet of “Rubber Duckie"… I couldn’t find a picture, but this now replaces my number one choice.  THIS was true absolute horror (until the part about the rubber duckie of course).

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