The Dangers of Clamato

Monday, February 23, 2004

I just saw an ad on TV for Clamato (at least I think it was Clamato—I just caught the tail end).

At the end they show a nice product shot of a refreshing, chilly glass of Clamato (they don’t mention any vodka, but let’s assume).  The glass is garnished with a nice healthy stalk of celery, and keeping the Clamato nice and cold: icecubes.

But if you look carefully, the tiny print beside the glass warns us (in a batteries-not-included, Barbie-does-not-actually-walk-and-talk sort of way): WARNING: ICE CUBES MAY CAUSE HEPATITIS A!!!

Thanks for the fear-mongering, Clamato, but you forgot these helpful tips:

WARNING: CELERY STALK MAY CAUSE CHOKING IF SWALLOWED WHOLE

WARNING: PRODUCT CAUSES DEATH WHEN MIXED WITH POISON

and

WARNING: CONTAINS CLAM


Comments

2-23-04 · 4:52 am

melanie says:

hmmm, you might have seen the actual hepatitis A commercial...you’re supposed to visualise yourself at a foreign resort drinking this enticing glass of whatever tropical drink its supposed to be...but remember the icecubes you’re ingesting are loaded with hep. A

mmm - sounds good!
-----

2-23-04 · 5:28 am

Robot Johnny says:

Ah!  So that’s what I saw…

2-24-04 · 1:25 am

Troy says:

Yeah I think it was the Hepatitis A commercial warning people that if they go on vacation to second or third world countries (like Cuba, Costa Rica etc.) to remember that Hepatitis could be in the water supply so could be in the ice cubes.  At least I believe it is that commercial (though I don’t remember the warning being in small lettering).

2-24-04 · 5:51 am

eliane says:

Just don’t watch TV. Once you get rid of the thing you’ll wonder where you found the time to watch it.

2-24-04 · 8:34 am

Llord says:

Who thought of Clamato.
Clams and tomato?
What’s next, codapple?
Lobstorange?
Turbotcarrot?

2-24-04 · 8:40 am

kevin says:

Haha, Smallville Tuesdays!

Please don’t say that there’s also OC Mondays ... America’s Funniest Fridays!? Wahahaha ... oh wait, that’s me.

2-24-04 · 10:02 am

Zombie Claire says:

Please to not be dissing Clamato, Johnny, you know you will be pounding 500mL at least tonight at Smallville Tuesday Spectacular!!!

2-25-04 · 10:18 am

Zombie Claire says:

For me there is totally OC MONDAY however we have not yet convinced Johnny to participate SERIOUSLY THOUGH Smallville Tuesday Spectacular is like DECIMATING so perhaps that twice a week would be TOO MUCH DRINKING and we would be so sick and Johnny could not do his nice blog!!!

2-26-04 · 3:00 am

Donavan says:

You are a brilliant, shiny, giant robot.

I’m not sure what is more disgusting, the thought of getting hepatitis from an ice cube or the thought of drinking clamato.

I feel nauseous.